Babe 'Toasting' 101

Some thing that a guy should take in consideration. Many of these are stereotypical...

1. Examine the territory: A woman speaks through her face. Before you get close enough, you can already tell from her expression, whether or not the reception will be 'warm'. Be wise.
2. Signs of the Times: You have to take another class to understand the mannerisms of women. However, when you're driving down Ahmadu Bello Way and you stop a girl in the middle of the road to talk to her, the fact that she stops to listen to you doesn't mean she's about to 'gel'. She's only stopping to abuse you for holding up traffic. Just an example...
3. Analyze and Strategize: (This is a bonus) You need to have planned your move(s) before hand. It's like writing a business plan, you have to know your strategy for all the 'what if' situations. What if she bones me? (Do you have a way to get out of the arena without being embarrased?) What if she smiles? (Have you practised your lines?) What if she gets violent and pushes me? (I hope you're not next to one of those Adeola Odeku gutters!). Like the Boys Scouts say - BE PREPARED!
4. Location! Location!! Location!!!: Somewhere in the middle of The Palms, YES. While she's buying credit from a hawker on Kingsway Road, MAYBE. While she's crossing the road, NO. While she's buying underwear at Balogun, ARE YOU CRAZY?!
5. Stereotype Mania: Women don't always need to hear a foreign accent; don't fake one. Women are not always 'tripped' by your wealth; don't tell stories of cars in your garage at home while you're hopping off an okada (which you claim is simply to help you 'beat traffic'). Women are not crying to be 'taken care of'; don't even hint at it.
6. The Home Run: If you've been succesful so far, better plan not to screw it up with the pick-up line. Some are outdated - 'Your face is familiar'. Some are just cheesy - 'Are you tired? 'Cause you've been running through my mind'. Some would earn you a slap - 'That ass men, where did you get that from?'

Happy 'Toasting'.

M.A.