We have been going back and forth about remaining friends, or like he puts it, going back to the way we were before the relationship even came into play.
I am really close friends with other people I've dated before, but to the honest, it's proving kind of difficult with this guy. First, he had issues with us breaking up (I called it), and he expressed those issues to some of our mutual friends. I eventually got wind of being in his black books. Etc.
Here are my issues:
- I'm supposed to date my friend. That's what the Mothers have always told us. How long should this friendship have been? How close should we be, as friends? Are we supposed to consider the possibility of a break-up in the long run? Do we discuss what happens and how we are to repair our friendship if we do break-up?
- Depending on who calls the break-up, if the other person is trying very hard to make sure that the friendship is rebuilt, could the 'break-up-er' feel like they're pressing to get back together, and take offense? Or put up a guard?
- After the YEARS of healing (or whatever you want to call it), when we become friends, and start feeling overly comfy with each other, can we honestly say that we are true friends, or are we just pretending, and letting each other believe that we're cool?
- If they we don't see each other again for like (lemme calculate)... 6yrs, when we do see again, what should be the first reaction?
Just a brief thought.
M.A.
Always gonna be a struggle to just fall back into the pre-relationship routine..
ReplyDeleteIrrespective of who called the break-up
I doubt that it'll be easy to go back to how it was pre-relationship. As far as I'm concerned our mothers hearts are in the right place, but sometimes their heads are in different places than our are. I agree that people should be friends, cos life is too short. And just maybe, per #3 exes can be friends after the healing time is complete.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, thot-provoking.
ReplyDeleteIf you started out straight in a relationship then, there is no issue of been 'friends' after the break-up. No friendship existed before.
If the relationship was a result of an existing friendship (true, i mean) then, the friendship is never lost. However, the 'healing' process (varying periods, i daresay) must be complete before the friendship can TRULY resume.
Indeed. Very thot provoking... Its best to just break up and cut clean; to avoid unsavoury afters!
ReplyDelete@ rethots
If some1 is your "lover" then that person is also your "friend" - find it hard to believe it any different.